Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Middletown, OH, November 29, 2008
Yesterday's weather was Dad drunk.
Completely.
Followed by showers of taco bell. Which isn't as bad as it sounds.
Throughout which the outside was frigid and the car only got warm by the time we reached various destinations.
The bowling alley was foggy and at a nice 60 degrees.
Today will be cold cold cold. But there will be scaldingly hot chicken pot pie and blankets.
There will definitely be frost outside. But I doubt I'll do more than look out and see it.
Completely.
Followed by showers of taco bell. Which isn't as bad as it sounds.
Throughout which the outside was frigid and the car only got warm by the time we reached various destinations.
The bowling alley was foggy and at a nice 60 degrees.
Today will be cold cold cold. But there will be scaldingly hot chicken pot pie and blankets.
There will definitely be frost outside. But I doubt I'll do more than look out and see it.
Knoxville, TN, November 28, 2008
Unseasonably warm temperatures invaded Knoxville today, while premature celebratory jager invaded my mouth.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Knoxville, TN, November 27, 2008
Today's apartment weather centered around a steady flow of concentration from the north. Periods of creativity appeared throughout the day.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Middletown, OH, November 27, 2008
The sun shines but does no good to dispel the cold.
Tomorrow will be full of cholesterol and rum.
It will be a winter wonderland. Except the snow is mashed potatoes.
Tomorrow will be full of cholesterol and rum.
It will be a winter wonderland. Except the snow is mashed potatoes.
Knoxville, TN, November 26, 2008
The weather is warm, drunk, and guilty. A similar forecast is anticipated for tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Columbus, OH, November 25, 2008
9:02am: Fluffy snow flakes and an icy wind
9:08am: Fluffy snow becomes balls of ice being pelted at disturbing velocities
10:47am: Ice balls have changed direction and now are pelting south, right into my face. For the entire 15 minute walk back to the apartment.
Dear Google weather,
Next time get the "snow" and "ice ball" times right so I'll know when my face will or will not be ripped off by wrath of the Winter King.
Thank you(but only if you shape up),
Kc
9:08am: Fluffy snow becomes balls of ice being pelted at disturbing velocities
10:47am: Ice balls have changed direction and now are pelting south, right into my face. For the entire 15 minute walk back to the apartment.
Dear Google weather,
Next time get the "snow" and "ice ball" times right so I'll know when my face will or will not be ripped off by wrath of the Winter King.
Thank you(but only if you shape up),
Kc
Monday, November 24, 2008
Knoxville, TN, November 24, 2008
rain
Morning: warm.
rain
Afternoon: cold.
rain
Evening: discouraged.
rain
Morning: warm.
rain
Afternoon: cold.
rain
Evening: discouraged.
rain
Columbus, OH, November 24. 2008
Cold, wet pants today. 40% chance of giving up and just wearing PJ pants.
Scattered accidents from idiots who forgot how to drive in the rain.
There will be a large amount of cloud cover in the sky, making it easier for Russia to send secret spy satellites into orbit around Earth.
If the weather clears up look for an epic space battle in the sky later this evening.
Scattered accidents from idiots who forgot how to drive in the rain.
There will be a large amount of cloud cover in the sky, making it easier for Russia to send secret spy satellites into orbit around Earth.
If the weather clears up look for an epic space battle in the sky later this evening.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Columbus, OH, November 22, 2008
Today there are floods of people who, though they may live in different places, came together with the same bond of vicious determination to see their team win. They fight the biting cold with team spirit which looks suspiciously like Natty Light and other various beer brands.
It is as yet unwise to try to drive anywhere, especially if your apartment is the officially designated tailgating area and blocks all the exits and entrances of your parking lot.
There will be scattered showers of vomit and police on desperate missions to keep everyone in check.
These two will end later this evening in a drink and some aspirin after a good sleep.
It is as yet unwise to try to drive anywhere, especially if your apartment is the officially designated tailgating area and blocks all the exits and entrances of your parking lot.
There will be scattered showers of vomit and police on desperate missions to keep everyone in check.
These two will end later this evening in a drink and some aspirin after a good sleep.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Knoxville, TN, November 21, 2008
110% chance of 24 flakes of cloud dandruff at 0900. Icy cold wind will tame the burning sun.
At 1900 hours, a summer breeze blows in the apartment. It makes me feel fine.
At 1900 hours, a summer breeze blows in the apartment. It makes me feel fine.
Columbus, OH, November 21, 2008
Today's weather, snow showers.
Today's actual weather: absofuckinglutely sunny. SUN. THE SUN IS EVERYWHERE.
Tell me honestly weather.com, did you really think it was a good idea to tell us it would snow when it so obviously would never be possible on this day.
You bastards. How dare you get my hopes up. Do you know what I planned to do today?
I planned to sled. I planned to sled the shit out of some hill in Columbus. Do you know what I'm going to do now that it did not snow?
Because I sure as hell don't.
Fuck you sun.
Today's actual weather: absofuckinglutely sunny. SUN. THE SUN IS EVERYWHERE.
Tell me honestly weather.com, did you really think it was a good idea to tell us it would snow when it so obviously would never be possible on this day.
You bastards. How dare you get my hopes up. Do you know what I planned to do today?
I planned to sled. I planned to sled the shit out of some hill in Columbus. Do you know what I'm going to do now that it did not snow?
Because I sure as hell don't.
Fuck you sun.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Columbus, OH, November 20, 2008
November 20th is slacking.
If you can't keep up get out.
45% chance of skipping class if there is snow.
67% if there isn't snow.
The cloud cover today will be like a reflection of the concrete city, but fluffier and with a little more color.
If you can't keep up get out.
45% chance of skipping class if there is snow.
67% if there isn't snow.
The cloud cover today will be like a reflection of the concrete city, but fluffier and with a little more color.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Columbus, OH, November 19, 2008
Today was cold.
Tomorrow it will be cold with a purpose. The purpose of snowing. And that should lead to sledding. If not I'm going to find a hill and mud slide. Seriously.
Tomorrow it will be cold with a purpose. The purpose of snowing. And that should lead to sledding. If not I'm going to find a hill and mud slide. Seriously.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Music building weather report, bitched at 10:00 am to the secretary:
"I couldn't take notes in 214 today because my hands were frozen. It's 1000 degrees in the computer lab, so I couldn't work in there, either. I am losing my patience."
Scattered bitching continued for the next two hours.
This evening's apartment forecast calls for confusion, typing, and beers.
"I couldn't take notes in 214 today because my hands were frozen. It's 1000 degrees in the computer lab, so I couldn't work in there, either. I am losing my patience."
Scattered bitching continued for the next two hours.
This evening's apartment forecast calls for confusion, typing, and beers.
Columbus, OH, November 18, 2008
There was snow but all the remains now is the wrath of the wind gods as they attempt to blow our souls out. The snow may return but for now we are left with an overwhelming feeling of cold lethargy.
Layers will save you.
Layers will save you.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Columbus, OH, November 16, 2008
The world could be destroyed and you won't notice unless the internet stops working.
Today is Sunday, the day you realize you forgot you had homeworks or tests.
Good luck.
Today is Sunday, the day you realize you forgot you had homeworks or tests.
Good luck.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Columbus, OH, November 15, 2008
Cold showers.
Don't bother going outside for a walk, a car is best. Unless your windshield wipers suck, then you should really just not go out in public. Order some chinese and stay in.
Antique shop in the future forecast followed by a long ride home with an erratic heater.
Don't bother going outside for a walk, a car is best. Unless your windshield wipers suck, then you should really just not go out in public. Order some chinese and stay in.
Antique shop in the future forecast followed by a long ride home with an erratic heater.
Columbus, OH, November 14, 2008
Today the sun is bright enough to burn your retinas and blind the ever curious child. If you don't have sunglasses, you won't survive. Get some.
It might be cold out but the bright light is blocking our other senses, so feel free to go streaking.
It might be cold out but the bright light is blocking our other senses, so feel free to go streaking.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Columbus, OH, November 13, 2008
Today the ground is wet and your pants will be too if you go outside.
Watch out for funeral processions on Lane Ave.
Keep an eye out for the brooding roommate, for your own safety keep your comments to yourself. Or a woman's wrath will be "all over yo' shit."
Oh and don't worry the rain will be back again and again until you forget that sunshine and snow ever existed.
Watch out for funeral processions on Lane Ave.
Keep an eye out for the brooding roommate, for your own safety keep your comments to yourself. Or a woman's wrath will be "all over yo' shit."
Oh and don't worry the rain will be back again and again until you forget that sunshine and snow ever existed.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Knoxville, TN, November 12, 2008
In the morning, drizzle. Dreary drizzle. Expect galoshes and sad faces.
In the music building, hot as hell. Send bitchy e-mails to administration that describe these flames of Hades at your leisure. And then accidentally forward them to all of the music students. Oops.
In the apartment, perfection! Beers and fuzzy socks strongly advised.
In the music building, hot as hell. Send bitchy e-mails to administration that describe these flames of Hades at your leisure. And then accidentally forward them to all of the music students. Oops.
In the apartment, perfection! Beers and fuzzy socks strongly advised.
Columbus, OH, November 12, 2008
Today
40 percent chance of people showering and rendering your mirror useless. The oldest old people you'll see walking around will be in their mid 50s. On the south side you might see some missing 5-10 yr olds, pay no attention, the cops will find them eventually.
Tonight
Showers again, but they'll smell better. The older people will be heading back to seclusion except the random middle aged man walking around that you really should not ask directions from. South side zombie armies will be moving so there will be winds around 10 mph that smell rancid. Chance of rain 100 percent because without the rain, the zombies would win.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Knoxville, TN, November 11, 2008
The sky was striped with dense clouds today and the air smelled of burnt sugar. Fall has arrived here in Knoxville; layer accordingly.
Columbus, OH, November 11, 2008
Today there shall be a slight chance of hide and seek played by the sun and clouds. This will be followed by the heavens ripping open and pouring down their sorrows in the form of chilling water full of the pollution of mankind. Protected anti-acid rain capes are recommended for traversing during the later hours of tonight. But a cat is fine too.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Columbus, OH, November 10, 2008--Evening Edition
There's a slight chance it'll be Veteran's Day tomorrow, and just in case you can't see through the clouds, the sun has not exploded yet. This really is not the Ice Age. But it is close.
The day has come when the air is cold enough to freeze an egg on the sidewalk.
Go grab your long johns and head out to a frozen lake, lets go ice fishing!
The day has come when the air is cold enough to freeze an egg on the sidewalk.
Go grab your long johns and head out to a frozen lake, lets go ice fishing!
Knoxville, TN, November 10, 2008
Residents of Knoxville, be advised: it is bitterly cold, yet miserably hot. Confused attire is strongly suggested, lest ye tear thyself in two. Those intrepid souls who challenge the paradoxical weather shall be rewarded with a view of the beautiful, pleasantly blue sky.
Columbus, OH, November 10, 2008
Cloudy.
The sky is back, and was so cold this morning it turned blue. It's so cold the clouds are constipated with snow. The sun is hiding behind this odd mass of clouds somewhere, but until it rears it's head long-johns are recommended, along with any form of portable warmth you can find. Namely coats and coffee cups. If you lose feeling in your butt have someone spill coffee on it. Warm you right up.
The sky is back, and was so cold this morning it turned blue. It's so cold the clouds are constipated with snow. The sun is hiding behind this odd mass of clouds somewhere, but until it rears it's head long-johns are recommended, along with any form of portable warmth you can find. Namely coats and coffee cups. If you lose feeling in your butt have someone spill coffee on it. Warm you right up.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Columbus, OH, November 9, 2008--Evening Edition
Darkness shrouds the city, disguising the various stabbers and drunkards hiding in shadowed corners.
This is not the weather for skinny-dipping or even going barefoot.
The Laundry room was 80 degrees Fahrenheit and smelled of bounce sheets and cooked gum.
Watch out for the occasional beer-pong table.
This is not the weather for skinny-dipping or even going barefoot.
The Laundry room was 80 degrees Fahrenheit and smelled of bounce sheets and cooked gum.
Watch out for the occasional beer-pong table.
Knoxville, TN, November 9, 2008
Apartment weather in Knoxville today was cloudy and cold due to the energy crisis. Warm tropical winds and the scent of coconuts prevailed in the northern rain forest.
Columbus, OH, November 9, 2008
"Haze"
"It's cold, and the clouds have combined to form one big cloud that is blocking out the sun, and if snow doesn't arrive in a week or two the Apocalypse is nigh, a jacket is needed."
"It's cold, and the clouds have combined to form one big cloud that is blocking out the sun, and if snow doesn't arrive in a week or two the Apocalypse is nigh, a jacket is needed."
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